


Twelve Kisses

by crygiankie_trash



Series: Twelve Kisses [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: F/F, mention of crygi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28931187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crygiankie_trash/pseuds/crygiankie_trash
Summary: The twelve most memorable kisses that Jackie and Jan share through the years. ((The Jankie version of the Crygi fic of 12 Kisses))
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport, Rock M Sakura/Jan Sport
Series: Twelve Kisses [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135247
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So once again? I am a chaotic mess and according to the co-star app? I am on a creative streak. So we're running with it for as long as possible. The first chapter is going to be ANGSTY. Like pure angst, so if that's not your thing? Flip over to chapter two for the fluffy goodness. Don't say I didn't warn you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So once again? I am a chaotic mess and according to the co-star app? I am on a creative streak. So we're running with it for as long as possible. The first chapter is going to be ANGSTY. Like pure angst, so if that's not your thing? Flip over to chapter two for the fluffy goodness. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The first time they kissed was when they were barely 7 years old and were playing in the cubby houses at Gigi’s house. “Cwystal and I are gonna be married in one house and you and Jan can be in the other!’ Gigi was to put it nicely, always being a little bossyboots, but she clings onto Crystal’s hand and points where she wants them to go with the other and Jan nods enthusiastically blonde pigtails bouncing against her lavender overalls happy enough to follow along with the instructions. Her voice rings out easily over Gigi's as she insists loudly ‘Momma says that when you get married it’s gotta be your favourite person and then you get to live together and eat snacks whenever you want so I want Jackie!’, she tugs on the dark haired girls hand as they clamor into the small house making it ‘homely’ before they tire of the game and head to the small swing-set nearby, Jan climbing on the seat while Jackie pushes her once she's ready, her legs swinging, as they watch Crystal and Gigi make ‘soup’ in their pretend kitchen before Jan nods once, twice affirming her words. “Jackieee when we get married. I want a cat called Indigo and I don’t want no babies like Lemmy because I have to share Momma with her and I don’t wanna share you. Even with Gigi or Crystal’ before jumping off the swing and landing on her feet with a loud cheer, before tottering back to Jackie and pressing a kiss against her lips. “There we go. Now we’re married because married people kiss all the time because they love each other. Daddy said so and he doesn’t lie’   
  


The second time they kissed was in the school playground, playing yet another game of “Mommies and Daddies” where Jan promptly tells Jackie that ‘she’s the Daddy” and presses a kiss to her lips because ‘that’s what Mommies and Daddies do’, both girls glowing happily but being interrupted by their teacher Miss Hytes, who has to gently discourage them and tells them that when they’re adults? They can kiss as much as they want, but there’s no kissing on the school grounds. Jan huffs angrily but sighs and opts for holding Jackie’s hand instead and tells Miss Hytes that it’s okay, she can wait and will Miss Hytes go to their wedding? The teacher giving a small laugh and an affectionate ruffle of Jan’s hair before sending them back to the playground promising that yes, she will go to the wedding when it happens. Though when Jackie gets home after a playdate at the Mantione’s? She finds her mother in tears, and her father locked in his study, any light and laughter around the house subdued into nothing and she thinks for the first time. That if that is being married? Then maybe she doesn’t want it.   
  


The third time they kissed Jan had forgotten that she’d taken a dose of strong painkillers to combat the injury she’d gotten at the day's soccer game, and readily accepted a red solo cup filled to the brim of a punch recipe of Crystal’s creation that she’d aptly named Chaos. Within 15 minutes, Jackie’s dragging Jan upstairs to put her to bed for the night. Jan sits up in bed with a moment of clear clarity on her face and kisses Jackie, her hand coming up to stroke her at her face and Jackie’s breathless before the kiss cuts off abruptly and drops back onto the pillows completely out cold. Jan doesn’t seem to remember, and Jackie opts to say nothing as her lips burn with the memory of Jan’s lips on hers. 

The fourth time they kissed was at the celebration of Jan’s soccer team winning their grand final, Jan’s parents trusting their daughter to have a few friends over for a celebration party. Eventually Crystal and Gigi claiming the spot of last guests to leave, left at 4am after helping that pair dispose of the many bottles and cups littered around the kitchen and yard from one too many games of beer pong, and from the Chaos punch that seems to be a permanent fixture at everyone’s parties; though no-one is quite game enough to ask how Crystal manages to procure the alcohol needed; Jackie and Jan head outside, a half a bottle of strawberry rose between them that gets passed back forth and sipped slowly as they watch the sunrise wrapped in the purple patchwork quilt that still sits on Jan’s bed. Neither can remember who kissed who, and they don’t talk about it again.

The fifth time they kiss is in Brita’s coat closet during a game of seven minutes in heaven. Though what had possessed everyone to play the game at an all girls sleepover is still baffling to Jackie, but the minute Jan’s lips touch hers? Her mind blissfully blanks over, her hands getting a mind of their own and sliding up the pale expanse of Jan’s thighs; deepening the kiss she presses the blonde against the side of the wardrobe; the sleeve from a soft mohair jumper tickling the side of her face as they hungrily explore each others mouths. When the alarm goes off signaling their time is up everyone to their credit, despite exchanging knowledgeable looks; don’t say anything about Jan’s grape lip gloss smeared almost comically around Jackie’s mouth and instead head to the kitchen debating on which Bring It On movie they want to watch tonight, Jan tries to bring it up later that night and Jackie shuts her down. “It was a game Jan, just a game”.    


The sixth time they kiss is in Jackie’s bed after during a study date. Jackie’s lips taste of cardamom and orange and Jan chases them with desperation, her fingers tangling in dark curls determined to pull those noises from her and watch her fall apart; to stake her claim on the dark haired girl after she’d been blatantly flirted with at lunch, and Jackie lets her before she comes to her senses and pulls the sheets around her, hiding her body and retreating back into her emotional shell. ‘....It’s getting late. I think you need to head home Jan’ though the tone in her voice leaves no room for argument and Jan gathers her clothes and leaves, briefly hesitating by the door before making her way down the stairs and out the door.    
  


The seventh time they kiss is in the school showers after Jan comes in from a solo soccer practice. It’s wet, needy, full of soap suds that smell of shea butter and lavender. Jan’s hair falls in wet tendrils around her shoulders and she looks positively sinful as she grinds against Jackie’s thigh, any noises the blonde makes muffled by the falling water around them.   
  


The eighth time they kiss is Jan’s bed, after Jackie sneaks in late at night after hearing her parents scream at each other; going to the first place that comes to mind Jan's. Tears spill from her eyes as her face hides in Jan’s shoulder. “I think they’re done this time Jannie. It was so bad” before Jan just wraps her in her arms, pressing kisses to Jackie’s cheeks, necks, shoulders, anywhere she can reach until their lips meet softly and they fall asleep wrapped up in each together, Jan shielding Jackie with her body as if to protect her from the outside world beyond the familiar walls of her bedroom before Jackie sprints out of there at 5am so her parents don’t find her empty bed, and so she doesn’t have to deal with what waking up to Jan’s smiling eyes makes her feel.   
  


The ninth time they kiss, it tastes of weed, vodka spiked punch, and lipstick. They’re graduated now about to enter the world as adults. They’ve snuck into Crystal’s treehouse, now a chill hangout where she, Jackie, Gigi and Crystal have gotten high more than once on the worn corduroy sofa that the four of them wrangled up there in a complex system of ropes and pulleys. Jan looks angelic, even with the remains of her orgasm streaking her thighs with dishevelled hair and mascara smudging under her eyes and Jackie wishes she was capable of loving her before leaving the next morning with no warning. 

The tenth time they kiss? Is at Crystal and Gigi’s wedding, a backyard ceremony in the Goode’s backyard complete with more fairylights than necessary and a bridal pinata, it’s full of love, laughter and yet another batch of Chaos punch though this time? It’s in a crystal bowl as opposed to a Wal-Mart bucket. Jan looks perfect in her mauve grecian style dress, and after some liquid courage? Jackie has no issue pressing her against the fence of the property. It’s a kiss of desperation, apologies, and screams of everything Jackie’s still unable to say after all these years. “Come home with me” Jan gasps about as Jackie’s lips trail down her neck, and Jackie finds herself unable to say no, but once again leaves before sun-up, a single sticky note being left on Jan’s pillow. “I’m Sorry”

The eleventh time they kiss, it’s in a restaurant bathroom in downtown New York. Jan is back from London after a run of Legally Blonde and she’s insisting the girls meet her new girlfriend, a rambunctious pastel pink haired chaotic girl that seems to not only match Jan’s energy but thrives off it. There’s a moment where Jan’s washing her hands and Jackie meets her eyes in the mirror and it’s as if they’ve gone back in time. But this time the kisses are sweeter, a silent way of saying goodbye, their hands running all over each other. Lips and teeth nipping, biting and sucking as Jackie tries to commit every inch and detail of Jan to her memory. It’s bittersweet, melancholic, and dare Jackie say it? Tragic. “I’m sorry I couldn’t love you” the words run around Jackie’s head but refuse to leave her mouth as Jan gazes at her expectantly before shaking her head, stepping back running a hand through long blonde hair. “....I . I have to go. I have a girl out there that loves me. And I’m here doing this shit. Again. Fuck you Jackie” Her voice cracks at the end before opening the door. “Just go Jacks. Just tell them I need a second. Lady issues and all that crap. Just fucking go”

The twelfth and final time they kiss is at Jan and Rock’s wedding. Jan looks positively ethereal in a flowing gown of wisteria purple that matches Rock’s freshly dyed hair to a t. Jackie leans forward and dutifully kisses her on the cheek in congratulations before they pull back and stare at each other trying to read each other's expressions. “Say you still want me and I’ll call this whole thing off” “Are you happy?” “I love you” “Don’t do this” “Fight for me” but no words are exchanged between them. Jackie’s lips skim at her cheeks smelling a soft perfume, the soft scent of rose from the bouquet still clutched in Jan’s hand, and the lingering undertone of something uniquely Jan. The words Jackie never spoke still linger in the air between them, but it’s too little too late. Maybe they could have been older, wiser. Maybe Jackie could have been less damaged. Maybe Jan was too flighty and foolish. Maybe they shouldn’t have drank shitty wine in a gazebo in New Jersey, maybe Jackie should have fought harder. Or perhaps they were just high on life and hormones, and just didn’t know any better and just weren’t meant to be. Perhaps that was just it. They had their 12 kisses, and that? That was enough and if Jackie couldn’t love her? She had to let her go for good this time.  _ “I’m so sorry Jan. I'm sorry I couldn't love you”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I hate me too. But thanks for tuning into our regularly scheduled angst. Please hit the 'next chapter button' for the happy ending version of 12 Kisses.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the non-angst version! Thanks again for coming on this ride. <3 Hopefully it's not as painful as the first chapter.

The first time they kissed was when they were barely 7 years old and were playing in the cubby houses at Gigi’s house. “Cwystal and I are gonna be married in one house and you and Jan can be in the other!’ Gigi was to put it nicely, always being a little bossyboots, but she clings onto Crystal’s hand and points where she wants them to go with the other and Jan nods enthusiastically blonde pigtails bouncing against her lavender overalls. ‘Momma says that when you get married it’s gotta be your favourite person and then you get to live together and eat snacks whenever you want so I want Jackie!’, she tugs on the dark haired girls hand as they clamor into the small house making it ‘homely’ before they tire of the game and head to the small swing-set nearby, Jan climbing on the seat while Jackie pushes her once she's ready, her legs swinging, as they watch Crystal and Gigi make ‘soup’ in their pretend kitchen before Jan nods once, twice affirming her words. “Jackieee when we get married. I want a cat called Indigo and I don’t want no babies like Lemmy because I have to share Momma with her and I don’t wanna share you. Even with Gigi or Crystal’ before jumping off the swing and landing on her feet with a loud cheer, before tottering back to Jackie and pressing a kiss against her lips. “There we go. Now we’re married because married people kiss all the time because they love each other. Daddy said so and he doesn’t lie’   
  


The second time they kissed was in the school playground, playing yet another game of “Mommies and Daddies” where Jan promptly tells Jackie that ‘she’s the Daddy” and presses a kiss to her lips because ‘that’s what Mommies and Daddies do’, both girls glowing happily but being interrupted by their teacher Miss Hytes, who has to gently discourage them and tells them that when they’re adults? They can kiss as much as they want, but there’s no kissing on the school grounds. Jan huffs angrily but sighs and opts for holding Jackie’s hand instead and tells Miss Hytes that it’s okay, she can wait and will Miss Hytes go to their wedding? The teacher giving a small laugh and an affectionate ruffle of Jan’s hair before sending them back to the playground promising that yes, she will go to the wedding when it happens before Jan brightens up as they head back to the playground. "I bet when we get married we get a toaster. Momma always gets people a toaster and I love toast!' with Jackie happily nodding alongside her. "We can have toast for dinner every night if we want!" 

The third time they kissed Jackie had forgotten that she’d taken a drowsy antihistamine to combat the reaction to the flowering tree in Crystal’s backyard and accepted a glass of a punch recipe of Crystal’s creation that she’d aptly named Chaos. Within 15 minutes, Jan’s dragging Jackie upstairs to put her to bed. Jackie sits up in bed with a moment of clear clarity on her face and kisses Jan, her hand coming up to stroke her at her face and Jan’s breathless before Jackie drops back onto the pillows completely out cold. Jackie doesn’t seem to remember, and Jan opts to say nothing as her lips burn with the memory of Jackie’s lips on hers. 

The fourth time they kissed was at the celebration of Jan’s soccer team winning their grand final, Jan’s parents trusting their daughter to have a few friends over for a celebration party. Eventually Crystal and Gigi claiming the spot of last guests to leave, left at 4am after helping that pair dispose of the many bottles and cups littered around the kitchen and yard from one too many games of beer pong, and from the Chaos punch that seems to be a permanent fixture at everyone’s parties; though no-one is quite game enough to ask how Crystal manages to procure the alcohol needed; Jackie and Jan head outside, a half a bottle of strawberry rose between them that gets passed back forth and sipped slowly as they watch the sunrise wrapped in the purple patchwork quilt that still sits on Jan’s bed. Neither can remember who kissed who, though they suppose it doesn’t really matter in the long run anyway.    
  


The fifth time they kiss is in Brita’s coat closet during a game of seven minutes in heaven. Though what had possessed everyone to play the game at an all girls sleepover is still baffling to Jackie, but the minute Jan’s lips touch hers? Her mind blissfully blanks over, her hands getting a mind of their own and sliding up the pale expanse of Jan’s thighs; deepening the kiss she presses the blonde against the side of the wardrobe; the sleeve from a soft mohair jumper tickling the side of her face as they hungrily explore each others mouths. When the alarm goes off signalling their time is up everyone to their credit, despite exchanging knowledgeable looks; don’t say anything about Jan’s grape lip gloss smeared almost comically around Jackie’s mouth and instead head to the kitchen debating on which Bring It On movie they want to watch tonight.    


The sixth time they kiss is in Jackie’s bed after during a study date. Jackie’s lips taste of cardamom and orange and Jan chases them with desperation, her fingers tangling in dark curls determined to pull those noises from her and watch her fall apart; to stake her claim on the dark haired girl after she’d been blatantly flirted with at lunch. "You're mine" the honorifics slip from her lips though thankfully Jackie either ignored them, or was too caught up in her own pleasure to hear them.    
  


The seventh time they kiss is in Jan’s bathtub, Jan’s hair is piled messily on her head; gossamer fine hairs escaping from her lilac scrunchie as soapy hands come up to cup Jackie’s face. It’s wet, full of violet scented soap suds and the ends of Jackie’s hair dip into the water leaving rivulets of water trailing down her sternum, collecting in the dip of her clavicles. The water sloshes over the side of the tub as Jan squeaks at the feeling of cold porcelain on her back as Jackie’s fingers slip through her folds teasingly , her chest heaving as the mirror fogs over as their soapy limbs tangle together uncaring of the mess they’ll need to clean up from the floor later.    
  


The eighth time they kiss is Jan’s bed, after Jackie sneaks in late at night after hearing her parents scream at each other. Tears spill from her eyes as her face hides in Jan’s shoulder. “I think they’re done this time Jannie. It was so bad” before Jan just wraps her in her arms, pressing kisses to Jackie’s cheeks, necks, shoulders, anywhere she can reach until their lips meet softly and they fall asleep wrapped up in each together, Jan shielding Jackie with her body as if to protect her from the outside world beyond the familiar walls of her bedroom before Jackie sprints out of there at 5am so her parents don’t find her empty bed.    
  


The ninth time they kiss, it tastes of tears, vodka spiked punch, and lipstick, Jan didn’t get Prom Queen, and Jackie comforts Jan the best way she knows how; with soft touches, limited words and alternating between feather light and harsh bruising kisses down the expanse of her body, telling her how perfect she was and that she didn’t need a crown to prove what Jackie already knew..   
  


The tenth time they kiss is in the arrival lounge at JFK, it’s been three months since they saw each other. Jan going on an overseas study trip for London’s West End, and the night before heading over there? Jan, beautiful brazen Jan finally gave Jackie an ultimatum. Sick of dancing around their feelings, Jan finally speaks over a bottle of white wine and take-out fettuccine. “I can’t wait forever Jacks, you’re it for me. So you need to work out what you want. Take some time, think about it and if you want me too? Then just kiss me when you see me next. Regardless of location, and if you don’t? Then we’re done. We’ll be friends, we’ll always be friends but this….” she trails off gesturing to her state of undress in one of Jackie’s oversized Star Trek shirts and her own black underwear. “This has to stop’.  
  


Jan leaves Jackie’s dorm room, pressing a small kiss to her jaw in goodbye. “I’ll see you when I get back yeah?” before heading across to her own hall, since she’s got an early flight the next day. Jackie tosses and turns over the next few months until finally the day of Jan’s return rolls around and Jackie’s standing at JFK with a large purple sign and a small bouquet of flowers. Jan all but sprints to her, eyes still cloudy from the effect of the pre-flight valium and Jackie kisses her soundly, her hands fisting in a tangled blonde ponytail before they break apart and Jan examines the flowers flushing in pleasure and beaming when Jackie explains the meaning of white violets is ‘Let's take a chance on happiness’, and they do.    
  


The eleventh time they kiss is in their new apartment, they’ve finally unpacked, both sweaty, exhausted but completely satisfied with their new dwelling, Jackie can hear Jan yelling from the main bedroom, and she walks into the room fully expecting to have to kill a spider if Jan’s volume is any indication; only to find Jan kneeling on the floor next to the bed holding a small black box containing a simple white gold band and Jan can barely even get the words out before Jackie is saying ‘Yes, yes. A thousand times yes’, their lips pressing together as they end up a tangle of limbs and ‘i love you’s’ on the floor. 

The twelfth time they kiss is at their wedding. Jackie in an ivory suit that Gigi had tailored to an inch of its life, and Jan in the correlating dress looking every inch a Disney princess. Crystal had insisted on doing their makeup actually keeping it neutral allowing their happiness and the glowing contentment to shine through. Nicky’s flowers are scattered through the room and pinned on Jackie’s suit and spilling over Jan’s bouquet. It’s not a large wedding, but it’s enough for them only wanting their most intimate friends and family to be witnesses for their ceremony followed by an open bar at the end. Rose’s wiping away tears before Jan even makes her way up the aisle blaming Lagoona for standing on her foot, Gigi definitely doesn’t cry but she does have a Jankie sized twig in her eyes, Crystal is crying openly a combination of happiness and pregnancy hormones being handed tissues courtesy of Alexis’ seemingly bottomless supply. The brides stare at each other reverently, both of them with tears streaking down their faces, stumbling over their vows, hands grasping together like if they let go, the other will go floating back down the aisle and they’ll wake up realising the last 18 years had been a dream. 

Their voices ring through the small room, promising a lifetime of love and commitment; a mere formality at this point culminating in the final phrase of  _ “I do”,  _ and they’re finally allowed to kiss. A kiss that seals everything they’ve promised each other over the past 18 years, a promise of everything to come, and of what they’ll achieve together before pulling back only enough for their noses to brush together, not even needing to know what the other is thinking, knowing it’s tattooed across their faces, written in the grip they still have on each others hands, the way their foreheads press together, Dark eyes meeting honey infused caramel, as their lips slowly brush each others again leisurely, their world narrowing down to the two of them.  _ “I love you.. I love you so much” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I love you guys so much. If you liked or just wanna yell at me or whatever. Please feel free to leave kudos/comments, etc.. <3


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